Sunday, January 20, 2008

No, I'm not quite done.

Sooo much to say. seriously. But I'm afraid to type. I'm not sure how much of it will come out. And I'm sure certain things should not be spilled. ackkk.

It's hitting me now - I'm not a student anymore. Now I can start my LIFE.
Honestly, I'm having a million feelings at the same time it's making me almost sick inside.

Sheer JOY that I don't have anymore assignment deadlines or papers to write to be scrutinized.
Joy that I can now write music on my own accord. I can practice AND perform them too.

Heartache cause I STILL feel I should have started this MUCH earlier. I feel cheated of so many of my best years. I know I know.."Keep Moving Forward". But it still aches.

Excitement at what this year will bring. The Musical...the soundtrack that I'll be working on..finding my niche, as they say.

Fear. No matter what I told me in the beginning, I'm still the sucker in the end. I can't con myself. And I fear I'll continue to be my own worst enemy.

....ok sorry I lost my train of thought.
Yea. This year is gonna be interesting for sure. I hope you'll be part of it in the best way possible.
*hug* I love y'all (well, most of y'all hahaha)

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