Saturday, November 25, 2006
Marcus would come to school with his daddy. Sometimes he'd cry and want to follow daddy. Sometimes he'd say hello to a teacher and bye daddy. He loved Isaac in a squeeze-you-really-hard way.
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
I keep telling myself I must change. It’s getting so old. If I’m so desperate to set things right, why hasn’t much changed? How can I possibly talk about your dust & dirt while my cobwebs are all over the place too? These past few months I’ve realized that yes, I was very hurt and affected by the incidents that caused me to despise a majority of Christians. And yes, while I still believe I have my rights in feeling that way, I’ve also realized that I haven’t done enough to set my Christianity right. Sure, I may have told you that I “understand where so&so was coming from and did this or that so she wouldn’t be turned off from Christians herself”, but now I see, what was the use in that? Wasn’t it just an impression of the truth, not the real thing? I wasn’t living the impression I was giving. Why on earth am I walking this way and that way, this way and that when I know for a fact that it makes me a part of the problem?!
A number of occasions in these few months past, have made me really think. Have put me on the spot. Have caught me red-handed bloody-handed spillage-on-the-floor. I may be dabbling with a very dangerous thing. I’m teetering on a very high edge, aren’t I? The last incident was last Saturday. When I told S about a part of me I’d conveniently left out. She didn’t say much. It was just a half-second look that killed me. It messed me up this bad. Thanks, S. Now it’s a little clearer – this edge I’m overlooking. I don’t like what I see. And I’ve been around long enough to know that if I wait longer, my warning signs are gonna get drastic. I don’t wanna wait for that moment, THEN panic and turn around. Why can’t the moment be now, now that I see it clearer, now that You’re tugging harder, now that I feel emptier? Maybe that’s why I’m not professionally at the level I want to/should be at by now. No wait. MAYBE?! Of COURSE that’s why!
Time to move out of this
I don’t know how to get rid of the anger/hurt/frustration. I could be so much more. I want to be so much more. Now my real test begins, doesn’t it? At a very difficult level – Level 7, Speed 5. 1 life to go. Press Start to begin. Now what are you gonna do, Joanna Lynne Nagaratnam?
Well, here I am blogging at 5:02am. I leave for the bus station in 42mins. I feel sleepy.
I can't believe it's been pretty much FIVE months that I've been back here.
How did that happen so quickly?! No WONDER I feel so strangely attached to Malaysia again.
I will miss Bernice and Eunice. And ALL THE GRACE USJ KIDS. [alahh,dont lah terasa i call u kids, senang untuk i je lah]*puts on best rempit voice*
My OMGsarah, Petrina Thong, ArielleTaiImSoProudOfUForBeingBrave. I love you three, with most of my heart. EVEN IF sometimes things dont click well. love me too?
I will miss the randomities like zac joash nelvie kristy chern paultantk and wid.
I will miss you.
I will miss MANGLISH SIGHhHHhHhHhHHhHh
i WOULD link all names mentioned above, but im so sleepy and im leaving like.....now.
Here's to the past five months.*clink*
Bangkok, here I come again.
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Friday, November 10, 2006
I like Sharon. She is one power chick. She's from KUCHING,my homietown *wannabe pose*. A lot of times, she speaks and my mind says, "wah. one day really soon,this chick is gonna bring the house DOWN!" You go, SHARONNNNNNN!*liCk*
I love my cousins, they are just BABElicious! LOOK AT THEM! We should've had more outings this time 'round,girls..you gotta come to bangkok sometime,promise me!! LOVE u!
...to be continued.