I gotta be honest, sometimes when I talk to girls about boys and men (yes, of course there's a difference), I'm appalled at their List. Y'know, that List that every girl has of what qualities her guy should have.
A lot of us sometimes forget what it's all about and make it a longggg list of Must Haves, rather than Plus Points. But truth be told, it does depend on what kind of lifestyle you want to live. I'm the kind of girl who takes friendship seriously (perhaps too much sometimes) and I'm pretty picky about my friends. This trait spills over into my relationship must-haves, I've realized. What I really crave in both friendships and relationships is the same thing - longevity. Wow. Where did that come from.
But really, I like to keep my handful of friends. I just find it tiresome to go through your entire life all over again with new people all the time. I mean, who wants to hear all your long ass stories about when you were 13? The friends who were there to laugh at you then, right? Certainly not the new colleagues at work. It just....doesn't..gel easily. Yes yes, "make new memories" blah blah blah, I know, but that's not my point right now so let's move on.
Recently, this video was sent to me and I was asked what I thought. I have never heard nor seen this girl before and I'll refrain from commenting about her per se. However, it does make one think (well...at least most females will still be able to) about how different our lists can be.
The girl in the video doesn't seem to be looking for the same things I want. She's looking for a guy who cares about how he looks and does something about it, she wants him to be brave and talented and smart. She wants The Ultimate Male, basically. The ones the Disney princesses get.
At first, I thought she generalized that ALL girls want that. But later I "re-noticed" the title has a disclaimer for that. She says "girls (like ME)". At least she gave us that (although I'm wondering if that was added into the title later on?)
Physique-wise, I always thought that guys who were a little hug-able would be nice to be with. And I can't be alone in this coz' I see loads of happy chubby people with their happy noodle skinny partners.
I certainly don't think that being able to tie a cherry stem into a knot with your tongue is gonna make you any better of a kisser, it sounds like a myth we enjoyed discussing....as highschoolers.
A smart AND talented AND hunky bodied AND good kisser AND not-afraid-of-cockroaches kinda guy is....gonna be hard to find, I'm sure. But maybe there's someone out there that's gonna fit that list perfectly. Hopefully he finds her.
The things she mentioned in her list have never been in my top priorities and probably never will be. I'm not saying I don't appreciate such things; I'm saying it's not as important to me as other traits that will keep a relationship alive for a long time. People who are super hot now may not look as good in 20...30 years. Neither will you. You can do your best, but gravity will still have its way. Or what if your super hot partner gets in an accident that leaves them...not as hot? What happens then? Do your top priorities take a back seat or do you dump them and move on?
If you're looking to always have good sex and don't care about how many people you need to sleep with to get that, then you'd probably be on the lookout for the guys you consider "sexy bodied, good kisser, etc etc etc" . If you're looking for someone can always make you laugh, chances are the funny boys in the group will stand out a little bit more. If you just want to cuddle up and feel safe and loved, a good hug-able person is likely to appeal to you. If you want to live your life with a best friend, you'll probably want to grow as friends first. So it really depends on what you're looking for in life, right?
I want to dive in for a long term. With all the madness, fun, tears and cheers. (I'm on a roll here. A cheese roll woohoo!) I want the whole grow-old-knowing-what-you-were-like-when-you-were-both-young shebang. But not everyone wants to live that life.
We're all just....looking for the things that make us happy. It's easy (and fun) to laugh at each other's checklist, but take it as just that, differences in priorities. Some like it hot, some like it cold. Some like it with fancy furnishings, some like it plain jane style. And that's fine, as long as you know where your life is headed and most importantly, as long as you are happy and right with yourself.