Giant Slaying Ahead.

I will break the cycle.
If it kills my pride, so be it.

I will break the cycle.
If all you do is scoff, so be it.

I will break the cycle.
If they think it's not worth it, so be it.

I will break the cycle.
If I am to be like that lamb about to be slaughtered, so be it.

I will break the cycle.
I will.

Frustration is..

Frustration is.....really slow loading of diskette til you wonder if it's hanging.
Frustration is.....clicking "Format disk" accidently while checking if it's hanging.
Frustration is.....reading "Do not EVER remove disk while formatting!"
Frustration is.....watching the tab slowly head for the 100% mark.
Frustration is.....re-inserting disk only to read "No Files Found"
Frustration is.....realizing you don't have a copy of those precious files on another disk.
Frustration is.....when you've lost this same copy before but it was painstakingly salvaged.

You know how sometimes...

you think about something you wish for in life.

you imagine how it would be if you got your wish.
how things would look, feel, sound like.
then one day, you realize you have no idea if it really did happen in the end.
or if you had merely imagined it so realistically that you began to believe it was true.
and you get utterly confused?

You know how sometimes...
you take a chance and tell the truth,
then the truth bites back,
and you can't step back,
and you can't push through?

You know how sometimes...
things slow down to a heart-stopping beat.
and you don't know what to think anymore.
and somewhat clear turns somewhat blurry,
and nobody tells you what to say?

You know how sometimes...
everything is just too much
and not enough?

If it'd been me..

I'd reply
that maybe you made it difficult yourself.
Maybe it could have worked out fine but you couldn't see how.
So you didn't try.
Maybe the truth needed to be out there even if it hurt to hear it.
You or her.

You're contradicting yourself, baby. Just listen to you. You offer, then you pull back.
Hand out your love and let her caress it before you put it back
in its sorry corner.
Play it off like she's a fool.
And even if that was the case, is it reason enough?
It's all about you, innit.
Maybe she finally saw that.
And maybe if you hadn't pushed it all aside, I'd let it be.

I'd like to thank You for strangely using this trip to bring me to the point where I am a step closer to where You are.
Wherever that is, I know it's definitely one of those Good Roads to be on. The ones they speak about so freely as if it's an easy one to step onto.
I hope this step becomes a walk soon.
Then maybe, maybe one day I can run.

Bright Idea subsection 1

I wanna go on a road trip lah.

Ok so that's a cheap alternative to my original little holiday plans.
But still, wouldn't it be fun to just go driving?
Imagine bringing a whole portal of awesome music, wearing your bug-eyed sunnies, sticking your head out as you drive past
clear s p a c e s and the breeze gets you singing along to whatever's playing at the moment.

Then you stop at a random little outlet that looks like it might have something interesting to look at, and discover a shop next to it that has the most delicious things. You make a mental note for future trips to include this little nook.

And then it's the cool evening and you quickly grab wicked shots of the sunset. You step into an airconditioned diner in your flipflops looking like you just had a GreatDay and realize that really, you did.