*blink*

I don't like it when you press "Stop" in the middle of a song.
I'd rather you turn the volume down slowly THEN stop.
I guess I need a nice conclusion. Or the illusion of one.

My inspiration for this post came from a lyric I just read.

Membuatku terjatuh dan terjatuh lagi
Membuatku merasakan yang t'lah terjadi
Semua yang terbaik dan yang terlewati
Semua yang terhenti tanpa ku akhiri

I liked that last line. A rough translation :

Making me fall and fall again
Making me feel what's past
All the best, and all that's missed
All that's stopped without me ending it.

Like that abrupt feeling I get when you press Stop.
When you don't end what you started in the first place.
The it's-gone-but-something's-still-hanging-somewhere feeling
like a thin silver thread of web. hardly visible, but there.

I really don't have a point in this post.
I'm homesick.
And it's not going away.

Word Vomit. i apologize.do not read.

I'd give a lot if they would teach me how to dance freely

and just be me.

I'd breathe easier if they told me that I'm doing it right

and that it's okay to be me.

I mess up. I trip. I stray. I break. under the pressure of it all.

And sometimes when it's too sharp, I just get numb from the fall

Could a kind soul reach into mine,

and put the warmth back inside?

Could they hold this heart ever so gently and nurse it back to life?

Could they search a little more and remove the splinters

cut away the cancer

suck out all the waste

Could they let me be me?

If she'd only see what I've truly become

If he'd only believe in what I could be

If they saw my thoughts spread out, heard it loud,

Would they let me be me?

I know, I know. You don't have to tell me how crap this post is.

I'll probably regret ever typing this by tomorrow.

[another day:yeah, i regretted it.]

Your ASSETS might be in here.

I thought, since my head refuses to sort out my gazillion thoughts well enough to blog out, I shall entertain instead. Here. Whose body parts are these? *chuckle*

We'll start with eyes...

This hideous nose belongs to..........

The adorable lips of... [pet,stop chuckling k.]

The OBVIOUS body of....[no, i DO NOT like this type of body,thank you.it's disgusting.]

and i'm gonna get smacked for this, but....ah well. These legs belong to.........

And of course,the females - what u've been looking out for hahahah,don't lie.

The sultry peeps of..

I LOVE HER SMILE.GORGEOUSSSS...

If you know who belongs to these boobies,u and i need to have a lil talk.....

BUT, if you don't know whose body THIS is, you're...painfully alien.[?]

and just a few cute toes belonging to _____ to top it off...

Enjoy guessing.

ENOUGH ALREADY.

1. My uncle once:paid me to cut out gary larson's The Far Side comics and stick it in a book for him.
2. Never in my life have I: watched Titanic. *and the world goes GASP*
3. When I'm nervous:i have the lost look.
4. The last time I cried was:the whole of last week, seemingly.
5. My thoughts:are sometimes overlooked, then reconsidered.
6. When I was 5:i protected my brother like the quills on a porcupine.
7. Last Christmas: i was happily surrounded by the entire foursome.A sweet/mad/crazy/awesome/tragic/funky/luUrRvely reunion.
8. When I turn my head left, I see:a bowl of fake fruit.
9. When I turn my head right, I see:guitar and a bra.
10. When I look down I see:After Eight wrapper. *oops* *crushcrushhide*
11. The craziest recent event was:SONGKRAN at khao sannnn!!
12. I have a hard time understanding:the whys of relationships.
13. One time at a family gathering:i changed the lyrics of Grow Old With You a lil and sang it to my granpa.
14. You know I "like" you if: i dont mind hanging out with you.
15. If you visit my hometown:you'd have to go to the riverside and watch it at night!! it's LOVELY.
16. Where do you plan to visit anytime soon:bali. nannue,wanna come? hahhahah
17. Boys are:great.Men are better.
[although if i dont say so,i'd be in big trouble since im amongst a LOT of them]
18. Today i: thought of a particular night frequently.
19. The world could do without: model standards.
20. Most recent thing you've bought yourself :alot lah...most recenttttt i think would beee....liners. ahahhahahahhahahahhahaha
21. Most recent thing someone else bought you: B.breezer.
22. I need:a laptop with loads of power and a bf.
23. And by the way:i dont NEED a bf. i want one. there's a difference.
24. The person I last talked to told me to:have fun with the song.
25. There's this girl who I: want so badly to corrupt.
26. There is this guy who I:only recently saw a different side and decided it was rather interesting.

and so songkran begins.

A reward in exchange of a better title for this song.

Shiraz

[25th March 2006]

Soft and gentle. Constant, devoted joy.
Tenderly…tenderly we sway
She watches from the shelter of her existence.
She yearns for a chance, she thirsts for what could be what should be
Desires…she desires..

And she asked me how, how does it happen, please?
And she asked me how, how does it feel, this bliss?
And she asked me why, I try and I try I can’t simulate this too,
It’s so hard to do, can’t seem to get through

Sense surreal. The sick sweetness keels me almost to my knees
And I like it.
In her chambers, the sweet sickness keels her almost to her knees
And she hates it.
You’re so terrified of change, yet it’s what you crave
Unlock your confine, come taste this wine
You’re so terrified of change, yet it’s what you crave
Unlock your confine, come taste this wine.

Yesteryears impair your view
Numbness soon became your tune
Bygones drape your hollowed eyes
As you bleed tears, say goodbye

I stole this. But we shall call it "quoting".

I read Bailey's post and can't help but quote. It's so unfortunate. And more and more girls are beginning to realize how true this is.

"The moment you hear that a GUY is an amazing dancer... immediately you will ask or KNOW that he is GAY...WHY is it that STRAIGHT men are so damn boring? They won't dance... won't get involved in anything interesting at all... they just stone around playing Dota & shit... Then all the girls end up falling for gay men... and the straight men get jealous and start insulting the gay men... COME ON! The ratio of women : men is already 2 : 1... and our options are lessening and lessening by the minute."

Can I hear an Amen?

I'm spamming my blog.

You may only answer YES or NO. No explanations allowed.

1. Taken a picture naked? - no
2. Painted your room? - no
3. Kissed a member of the same sex? - yes
4. Drove a car? - yes
5. Danced in front of your mirror? - yes
6. Have a crush? - yes
7. Been dumped? - no
8. Stole money from a friend? - no
9. Gotten in a car with people you just met? - yes
10. Been in a fist fight? - no
11. Snuck out of your house? - yes
12. Had feelings for someone who didn't have themback? - yes
13. Been arrested? - no
14. Made out with a stranger? - no
15. Met up with a member of the opposite sex somewhere? - yes
16. Left your house without telling your parents? -yes
17. Had a crush on your neighbor? - no
18. Ditched school to do something more fun? -no
19. Slept in a bed with a member of the samesex? - yes
20. Seen someone die? - no?
21. Been on a plane? - yes
22. Kissed a picture? - yes
23. Slept in until 3? - yes
24. Love someone or miss someone right now? -yes
25. Laid on your back and watched cloud shapesgo by? - yes
26. Made a snow angel? - no
27. Played dress up? - yes
28. Cheated while playing a game? - yes
29. Been lonely? - yes
30. Fallen asleep at work/school? - yes
31. Been to a club? - yes
32. Felt an earthquake? - yes
33. Touched a snake? -yes
34. Ran a red light? - yes
35. Been suspended from school? - no
36. Had detention? - no
37. Been in a car accident? - yes
38. Hated the way you look? - yes
39. Witnessed a crime? - yes
40. Pole danced? - no. no??!
41. Been lost? - yes
42. Been to the opposite side of the country? - yes
43. Felt like dying? - yes
44. Cried yourself to sleep? - yes
46. Sang karaoke? - yes
47. Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? - yes
48. Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? - no
49. Caught a snowflake on your tongue? - no
50. Kissed in the rain? - no
51. Sang in the shower? - yes
52. Made out in a park? - no
53. Had a dream that you married someone? - no
54. Glued your hand to something? - yes
55. Got your tongue stuck to a flag pole? - no
56. Ever gone to school partially naked? - no
57. Been a cheerleader? - yes
58. Sat on a roof top? - yes
59. Brush your teeth? - yes
60. Ever too scared to watch scary movies alone?- no
61. Played chicken? - yes
62. Been pushed into a pool with all your clotheson? - yes
63. Been told you're hot by a complete stranger?- yes
64. Broken a bone? - no
65. Been easily amused? - yes
66. Laugh so hard you cry? - yes
67. Mooned/flashed someone? - yes
68. Cheated on a test? - yes
69. Forgotten someone's name? - yes
70. Slept naked? - yes
71. Gone skinny dipping in a pool? - no
73. Blacked out from drinking? - no
74. Played a prank on someone? - yes
75. Gone to a late night movie? - yes
76. Made love to anything not human? - NO.
77. Failed a class? - no
78. Choked on something you're not supposed to eat? - yes?
79. Played an instrument for more than 10 hours?- no
80. Cheated on a girl/boyfriend? - no
81. Do you celebrate the fourth of July? - no
82. Thrown strange objects? - yes
83. Felt like killing someone? - yes
84. Felt like running away? - yes
85. Ran away? - yes
86. Did drugs? - no
87. Had detention and not attend it? - no
89. Made a parent cry? - yes
90. Cried over someone? - yes
91. Owned more than 5 sharpies? -yes
92. Dated someone more than once? - no
93. Had/Have a dog? - no
95. Own an instrument? - yes
96. Been in a band? - yes
97. Drank 25 sodas in a day? - no
98. Broken a CD? - yes
99. Shot a gun? - yes
100. Had feelings for one of your best/goodfriends? - yes

The masscomers call this a "Filler Post".I'm jst a tagged victim.

One song..from your early childhood.---> "It's MISSING!! Kids' 9 is missing! [kids' 9 is missing?!] whoa whoa whoa whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.."

One song.. you are associating with your first big love.---> PROBABLY "All I have to give" Backstreet Boys coz i was into them then.i was eleven,so stop rolling on the floor.

One song.. which reminds you of one of your holidays.---> Ocean by Michelle Branch. this one is for sure. coz i listened to it while island hopping, with the sea water spraying on my face on a speedboat. and i remember thinking 'how appropriate'.and i was feeling nostalgic at that time too. *blink* ok. enuff joni.

One song.. you like, but you have problems confessing to.---> Puke by Marshall Mathers. oh gosh, see i cant even like put the usual name coz i HAVE PROBLEMS CONFESSING THIS...

One song.. which accompanied you, while you were love sick. ---> Consider it "giddy", rather than "love sick". Hmm..let's see, just ONE eh?strangely enough, i think it has to be Usher's Burn. how weird.

One song..you listen most often to in your life.---> in my LIFE? dont believe i have one, so i'll jst say "This is my desire". We should ban that song. No really. Anyone in favor, meet me by the park at 3pm tomorrow.Dresscode: Black.

One song.. which is your most favored instrumental.---> Hark the Herald Angels Sing by Dave Koz. Or Rozhan's song in the ICOM cd, but I dunno the title can u believe it.

One song.. which represents one of your most favored bands.---> For The Moments I Feel Faint by Relient K.


One song.. in which you recognize yourself or through which you somehow feel understood.
There was once I felt strongly about Sixpence None The Richer's "Disconnect".Those were the happy teen days,lol.

One song.. which reminds you of a certain occasion.---> "I Like That" by Houston. It reminds me of Poppy. And Andre. And a daisy-chain of smiley thoughts.

One song.. you like which belongs to the Hip Hop/Rap genre.---> Hurt Sumthin' by Missy E.

One song.. which is the best for you to relax.---> Six Underground by Sneaker Pimps.

One song.. which symbolizes a great time in your life.---> Here's To The Night by Eve6. It symbolizes every stage of the last decade of my life. Whether in Kuching, PJ, ChiangRai, Subang, Bangkok. They were all great times. Ok ok, so i'm feeling a lil :) now.

One song.. which is your favorite song at the moment.---> Ballad of the Confused by Downstairs.

One song.. which you would dedicate to your best friend.---> The song I wrote for them, I s'pose, but sorry it's too late in the night i can't remember the title. hahahah

One song.. where you have got the feeling that no one besides you likes it.---> uh oh. there's a long list for this. Tick the ones u DO like and tell me im just being paranoid.
> Be My Last - Utada Hikaru
> La Tempete - Tara MacLean
> Where Is The Line - Bjork
> I'll Be Anything You Want - Auf Der Maur
> Bang Bang - Nancy Sinatra [what?it's funny..]
> Meet Me, Midnight - Renee Olstead
> Staples - Relient K
> Baby One More Time - Bowling For Soup
> Happy Together - Simple Plan

hahahha, actually some of those should be under the confession-problem songs.ah well.

One song.. you like because of its lyrics.---> another hard-to-pick-just-one.
> Beauty From Pain - Superchic[k]
> Make My Boobies One More Size - Jitney Spears, long lost twin to Britney.
> Yours - Toby Mac
> On Fire - Switchfoot
> Frail - Jars Of Clay

ok ok so Jitney's song shouldn't be there, but i DO think it's a funny song.dunno who sang it, i named her jitney myself.hahah.

There. I'm done 'fessing. And I shall not victimize anyone by tagging.

Into the North

"Oh that's a pretty color.." she thought to herself as the scenery whizzed past the car window. She took it all in silently in the backseat. "Cow..big tree..lil' tree..cow..paddy field..baby cow-calf aww...corn field..camel..cow.....wait,CAMEL???" But there it was right smack in the middle of nowhere-near-a-zoo-and-in-the-wrong-country. Strange. She was on her way to Cambodia for a regular visa run. Except she'd never done it in AngkorWat's resident country before. But she was glad she'd get a Cambodian stamp on her passport. It would be the fifth country she'd ever visited. Fifth. Ah well, 'tis okay. After, she's only twenty. Plenty of time to explore the rest of the world once she's got her....ahem...accounts secured?
Darrel recently visited Cambodia and I saw the beautiful pictures he took. SO a tiny fraction of me ridiculously expected to see at least some greenery or old historic-looking houses when I stepped into the country. Instead, a bleak desert-like red-sanded wide-road-to-nothingness greeted me. Oh, and some horny men who'd obviously not seen a city girl in shocking pink in a long while. Living on Nana Street, though, has trained me to keep the im-calm-and-not-bothered-by-u-but-come-closer-and-it'll-be-a-different-story look.hehe.
Fifteen minutes, 300 Baht, and two more horny men later, I was back in Thailand. Hm. So much for historical-anythings. All I saw was a random casino and red sand. Never judge a country by its...border? Because Darrel's pics were so different! [i actually have ONE picture of me there but cam battery's gone so can't load it.]
One thing I noticed on the Thai side, though [apart from the camel!], is that God rocks at shaping trees. Yep, you heard me. Trees. I wish I could have stopped and taken pics of all the cool trees I saw! One particular kind were/was so heavy with these DEEP RED flowers. They looked so LUSH. And totally out of place in the bone-dry fields. [It's summer now.]

[Do imagine a picture of a signboard that says "Surin Country Lodge", coz it's supposed to be here but won't load right now]

That's where we headed next. It's about an hour from Cambodia's border and belongs to Un.Paul the guy who houses me. The various flowers and orchids he has there! I mean, just the bunga tahi ayam [b.t.a.] alone was impressive okay. Who thought b.t.a. could come in such brightness and variety. Lol. And it was in this timely hour that the camera battery made its way to Panasonic heaven. *shakes fists* Just in time to miss the white duckies, baby buffalo [baby pig=piglet.baby buffalo=buffet?], and omg the CATFISH!! Some fishfood was called in to show me the fish and I was like," Err..it's just fish right,so what's the deal?" But when the first fish came up, my reaction was a Kodak moment, I assure you. The fish were FREAKICIOUSLY HUGE! We're talking longer than my arm catfish,okay! Each mouth could easily swallow a baby's head. [*blink* rather morbid thought, now innit?Sorry.] And there was a LOT of 'em,too.
Waitlah, I shall definitely go back there one day and load up on pictures. Although all we have are manual cameras and one Kodak digital which isn't too cool. Not that I know much about photography anyway.

So everybody now together "Dont stop, get it, get it..we are your captains in it..steady,watch me navigate,hahahaha..."

Educational Enlightenment

The theremin or thereminvox is one of the earliest fully electronic musical instruments.

The theremin is unusual in that it requires no physical contact in order to produce music and was, in fact, the first musical instrument designed to be played without being touched. The instrument consists of an array of circuitry including two antennas around which the user moves his or her hands to play.

So what does it sound like, huh? Actually I had a list of bands or songs that u've probably heard where they had used the theremin. But I can't find it now. Basically, it has this wahwah sound..they used it for that out-of-this-world sounds [so they thought at that time, anyway]. It's quite fascinating, I'm intrigued, really. Would buy one if I could find/afford/had time to look for one. Wanna hear some theremin?

Click Me

I think this one is super cool coz I've seen a video of it being played, and it looks SUPER HARD, okay. So this must have taken yonks to learn! I mean, it's a CHOPIN piece, which for non-pianists' info, is hard to play on PIANO, let alone GUESS on the theremin, phfeww! [Did I just say "super cool"?! sheesh, Nannue, you're rubbing off on me, stop it. :D ]

I miss my family.

To post or not to post?To POST!

Look who I found with long hair!!! *chuckle* oh, I'm sooOo failing the next test. haHahaa.

Featuring....

I thought it was time to feature a Sarah. MY Sarah, to be exact. So here goes, some shots of her, and some of HER shots coz she's a to-be-NG-photographer. *Lick* ahahahh..love ya, doll. For more, visit Sarahtivity.

*please imagine the advertising voice* :)

Gray

[5th Feb 2006]

Trailing my fingers across your skin

My velvet secrets out for a spin

Believe this will slip away, fade away, disappear

Fast forward/Rewind to a time that you'll remember

when it was not all so black and white, darkness and light

Do you remember?

It's time you made up your mind

To put out the light or ignite

We've been on this carousel way too many rounds and I'm thinking over

I won't wait til it gets out of line

Stop taking your time, wasting mine

Won't be okay with this gray.

Cut it deeper to see how much of me flows

Keep it bottled and watch as it grows

Take twenty when all you need is just one more

You look dark like a prince who has lost his crown

but kept the jewels in his stare

No matter what's said, detachment underplayed

The colours fade..

It's time you made up your mind

To put out the light or ignite

We've going around and around and around and

I won't wait til it gets out of line

Stop taking your time, wasting mine

Won't be okay..with this..gray.

Gimmicks Pt.II

Pattaya

Tea after a massage
My darling Sarah with Sue Ann

Do YOU have a tripod?

If I were a digital camera [I'll be a Nikon, please], these three would be my tripod. A good tripod keeps the camera steady so it doesn't ruin pictures or make them blurry even when shaky hands handle it. No matter what kind of handling a camera goes through in its life, when it's put on its tripod, it's way steadier. Another fact about the tripod is that it has three legs. Duh. If ever one of these legs were to drop out or bend, the camera would lose its steadiness. The camera, in order to produce the best pictures, needs the tripod's steadiness. I love my tripod. And I'm grateful for their help in keeping me steady. *MUAK* *lick* [for pet, don't worry,sarah] *chuckle*

Gimmicks to save your blog's stagnancy.

well, just a few shots of the Bangkok trip, and messes of the hurry-to-the-next-agenda. :)

A very nice Lamborghini.

Too bad you can't see the entire thing, it's so awesome! Probably drinks gas like anything, but hey, looks great..lol. im holding a key, btw, not pointing at it as it looks..OH and the doors lift upwards, syiok gila. Arielle, i miss thee.